Pocket Size

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Today I’ve been looking at couples. Cute couples, odd couples and, most of all, uneven couples.

Seriously, what the hell is with you tall men picking short girls as girlfriends? As a tall girl myself, I’d like to discuss the situation. I mean, if every short girl is wandering around with tall guys, well… what is left for us??

One of my friends went out with a small guy. He WAS small -seriously, he was! I’m not exaggerating. But they were ok… most of the time. The rest of the time it was as if he was her little brother and she was taking him to the park or something. But hey, they were happy for a while.

That so, my trouble is: please, short girls, pair up with short boys and leave tall boys alone!

 

No, I’m not serious. Do whatever floats your boat and pair up with whomever loves you.

But please, introduce his other tall brothers to us tall girls.

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The mean reds

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I’ve been seeing stuff in black and white lately. Well, mostly black.

These days I’ve been a bit down, which is not normal in me. Those who really know me will tell you that, beyond my image of quiet shy girl hides a maniac who will try to make you laugh whatever the cost -that includes making ridiculous faces or talking about butt hair.

However, I’m trying to get out of this black hole and move on. You see, like Holly Golightly, I suffer the mean reds, but she has the exclusive with the name, so I’m naming them the mean blacks. In case you’re not familiar with the term, for Holly the mean reds meant being scared but not really knowing why. In her case, she fixed it by going to Tiffany’s. For me, I’ve found out that the things that calm me down are compulsively buying a compilation album with songs from the 50s/60s sang by girls only. These meant putting my favorite green headphones on and listening to the voices of Ella Fitzgerald, Julie London and Etta James -among some others.

These songs cheered me up

What do you do in those mean reds? sorry… blacks?

He likes pink, so what?

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Due to recent events in my life, I’ve found myself spending time with a kid of 4 who likes to wear pink dresses, sing “girls’ songs” and people to paint his nails in bright colors. Yes, he’s a boy, and if our world wasn’t so unfair and full of prejudice, he would be wearing bracelets, earrings and necklaces at the street.

Today, he’s been spending time in my house with my sister and I. He loves my sister -because her room is pink, she owns the biggest collection of plastic sparkly jewelry and sings songs with him. He also talked to me today. He sat on my knees and asked me to play a Barbie film for him. He loved my “hipstery” flower crown and wanted to wear it, so I lent it to him. His big blue eyes were so wide and happy that I simply couldn’t say no. And why should I?

All this got me thinking: what is the big deal with little boys preferring pink princess-y things over brute cars? Why can’t we just accept that some boys like typically girl stuff and some girls prefer boys’ things?

Curiously enough, I read an article not long ago in which the work of Lindsay Morris, a photographer, is commented. She has been taking pictures and documenting a camp for gender noncomforming boys and their parents. You can read the full article HERE. This quote stayed with me:

“They get enough questioning in their daily lives, so it’s a great place for them to express themselves as they feel. … I feel we hear so many of the sad stories and how LGBT kids are disproportionately affected by bullying, depression, and suicide, and it hangs a heavy cloud over them and kind of dooms them from the beginning. I’m saying this is a new story. This is not a tragedy.”

The father of the kid I mentioned before accepts his son just as he is, but at the same time, has shown some fear. He tells us he’s worried about what people will say if his son goes out in his bracelets or his princess dress. But he totally supports him at home. You certainly can’t blame him –our society is still full of retrograde individuals who would censore his behaviour. But, isn’t the first goal of a parent to see and make their kid happy?

Believe me: this kid IS happy. I loved that the reaction of his family (and mine) wasn’t “oh, what a shame, this kid will be gay in the future”, but “he looks so happy, look how he dances around!!”. So what? he might grow up and end up liking boys. Or being transgender. But, again, if that is what it takes to make him happy, what is the problem!? Honestly, if it were my kid, I’d definitely prefer him being and behaving the way he is over forcing him to live “in a lie” for all his young years –I’m sure he would go back to his true self as soon as he was “liberated”. And if not, we all know what happens in the worst occasions (suicide, mental problems like depression, etc.)

Therefore, I encourage you to think about it, and if your kid one day goes to you and asks you for a princess dress, simply say yes.

The Great Wall of Couldn’t Care Less

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Today I’ve been thinking of my emotional barrier. I like to call it the Great Wall of Couldn’t Care Less.

As you probably imagine, an emotional barrier is something we all have -except the height and width of it varies in each person. It helps you hide away from emotional troubles, it makes you tell yourself “it’s ok, it doesn’t affect you” after reading something terrible on the newspaper or hearing a sad story. An emotional barrier is something we all have, and definitely we all need.

Empathy is the ability of jumping the barrier for a bit and letting yourself feel a bit like your partner, to “share” their suffering -at least for a while.

So, I’ve been thinking, what about my emotional barrier? I seem to be able to drift from a total “couldn’t care less” state to a “I don’t want to live in this planet anymore” one. I mean, I get it, we all need to worry about things… but why must we let them affect us so much? Obviously, each person has a different grade of affection.

This is my updated scale of “how much you care”:

  1. Hell no, hide and don’t interact with anyone or anything — this is the top of the list. When someone seems to break down in tears or fills their mind with worries, possibilities, what ifs and worse case scenarios… THEN you know you’re dealing with a Case 1. These kind of people only cause 2 responses in their partners: Response 1- Pay attention to their problems & try to help them get through it. Response 2- panic and avoid them as a way of avoiding getting affected. 
  2. Uhm, today you’re worried. I’ll call you back tomorrow — these kind of people seem to let things worry them -at least, for a while. They are able to go back to an (almost) normal state after a period of worrying.
  3. Careless individual, mind if I borrow your carelessness? — those carefree people who don’t seem to let anything or anyone affect them. WHO ARE THEY? I personally think they’re hiding something. I mean it! NO ONE can be so passive… can they? well, except psychos… but that’s another story.

 

But my point is: can we jump back and forth in the “how much you care” scale? Of course we can! The human body is set to adapt itself in different situations, isn’t it? Am I proposing something ridiculous? For example, I know I care about my future, about what the hell am I going to do with my life when I finish my degree (sometimes, it gets  to the point of Case 1) BUT some other times I think to myself “whatever, don’t force it, let it flow” (Case 3). Am I hiding something? Do I forget about the matter just as a way of escaping –even though deep down I still care, and there’s a single neurone going through my options of becoming a stripper, a failed comedian or a drug mule when I finish my degree?

Well it must be. Because if I spent my whole day worrying about the future, my brain would probably combust into flames. And that death wouldn’t be too pleasant, in my opinion.

late nights and Capote

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When spending my weekends at my dad’s place, we usually stay up late and watch films. Most of the time, we watch classics -he is responsible for my love for classic films, as he has made me watch ever since I was a kid films with Bogart (who he adores), Bette Davis and directed by Hitchcock -our favorites. The first copy of my all time favorite film, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, was a VHS that he brought home one day many years ago. We’d spend our weekend nights sitting in the living room, my grandma, my dad and I, and we’d watch our collection of dvds (which we still have).

Now, the tradition continues, even if it’s just my dad and I -and sometimes, we alternate with current films. When watching Harry Potter, my dad’s comment of “does that guy have the glasses glued to his ears?” made me both roll my eyes and internally laugh. When watching a film with Jimmy Stewart, you can always notice dad’s annoyed expression -he can’t stand the guy, though I love him. So, our nights are always entertained.

Last night, we stayed late and got to catch “Capote” (2005) on TV. It was one of those films I’ve been wanting to watch for a while, but never got to. But this time I finally could. Can I just mention how brilliant Philip Seymour Hoffman was as Capote? I turned the original version on (which means, turning the audio to English instead of the dubbed version) so I could appreciate his vocal performance too. His voice was changed. His presence, perfection. And the company, even better -Harper Lee, played by Catherine Keener makes the perfect “side-kick”, so to speak.

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Ok, as an English Literature student, I’m ashamed to admit I had NO idea those two were friends. Capote and Harper Lee, I could have never imagined!! I read “To Kill a Mockingbird” on my first year of university, and it’s now one of my favorites -I consider it a must-read for everyone (I think it makes you a better person). The film made me think of them, and it doesn’t seem that crazy, anyway.

“In Cold Blood” has been on my to-read list ever since my aunt gave me the book a couple of years ago. It intrigues me, but horrifies me at the same time. But I did read Capote’s “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” -and the short collection of short stories that accompanies that one. I’m making a mental note right now to re-read everything soon, and finally put my hands on “In Cold Blood” to see what all the hype is about.

Oh, and I also just saw that there is another film about Capote from 2006, “Infamous” -I might have to watch it soon, too.