Due to recent events in my life, I’ve found myself spending time with a kid of 4 who likes to wear pink dresses, sing “girls’ songs” and people to paint his nails in bright colors. Yes, he’s a boy, and if our world wasn’t so unfair and full of prejudice, he would be wearing bracelets, earrings and necklaces at the street.
Today, he’s been spending time in my house with my sister and I. He loves my sister -because her room is pink, she owns the biggest collection of plastic sparkly jewelry and sings songs with him. He also talked to me today. He sat on my knees and asked me to play a Barbie film for him. He loved my “hipstery” flower crown and wanted to wear it, so I lent it to him. His big blue eyes were so wide and happy that I simply couldn’t say no. And why should I?
All this got me thinking: what is the big deal with little boys preferring pink princess-y things over brute cars? Why can’t we just accept that some boys like typically girl stuff and some girls prefer boys’ things?
Curiously enough, I read an article not long ago in which the work of Lindsay Morris, a photographer, is commented. She has been taking pictures and documenting a camp for gender noncomforming boys and their parents. You can read the full article HERE. This quote stayed with me:
“They get enough questioning in their daily lives, so it’s a great place for them to express themselves as they feel. … I feel we hear so many of the sad stories and how LGBT kids are disproportionately affected by bullying, depression, and suicide, and it hangs a heavy cloud over them and kind of dooms them from the beginning. I’m saying this is a new story. This is not a tragedy.”
The father of the kid I mentioned before accepts his son just as he is, but at the same time, has shown some fear. He tells us he’s worried about what people will say if his son goes out in his bracelets or his princess dress. But he totally supports him at home. You certainly can’t blame him –our society is still full of retrograde individuals who would censore his behaviour. But, isn’t the first goal of a parent to see and make their kid happy?
Believe me: this kid IS happy. I loved that the reaction of his family (and mine) wasn’t “oh, what a shame, this kid will be gay in the future”, but “he looks so happy, look how he dances around!!”. So what? he might grow up and end up liking boys. Or being transgender. But, again, if that is what it takes to make him happy, what is the problem!? Honestly, if it were my kid, I’d definitely prefer him being and behaving the way he is over forcing him to live “in a lie” for all his young years –I’m sure he would go back to his true self as soon as he was “liberated”. And if not, we all know what happens in the worst occasions (suicide, mental problems like depression, etc.)
Therefore, I encourage you to think about it, and if your kid one day goes to you and asks you for a princess dress, simply say yes.