What they didn’t tell you

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Fairytales are all fun and games until you stop and think about them.

Today, Sleeping Beauty.

In case you don’t know how the story goes (WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!??), Sleeping Beauty is a young girl who pricks her hand on a spindle and due to a spell, falls asleep. Long story short, Beauty only wakes up when a handsome prince comes by and kisses her. Oh, joy!

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Henry Meynell Rheam – Sleeping Beauty

Now, here’s when I start to wonder about the story. If you have ever been with a person who had to stay for a long period in bed, you’ll probaby know how they tend to get sore. Really sore. So, did the Sleeping Beauty wake up and had ugly red wounds on her butt, her elbows and feet? And, what about her hair? when we sleep, hair tends to grow. In the fairytale, she’s been sleeping for 100 years!!! so, did she wake up with a moustache? (us girls know what we’re talking about) and her legs? was the prince lusty or just brave?

Think about the prince for a moment: he’s been told there’s a beautiful young woman sleeping (almost dead, but whatever). So his definite thought is to go find her and kiss her and wake her up. Was he brave or a pervert? —let’s not get too deep into this, because we can end up talking about necrophilia and fairytales (I’m looking at both princes from Snow White and Sleeping Beauty)

Anyway, going back to where we started, imagine the face of the prince when he got to the Sleeping Beauty’s lair and found her there, perfectly still… and hairy? and sore??? I need to write a letter to the author of this fairytale… if only he weren’t dead!

I guess spending too much time at the hospital looking after my dad has me going nuts.

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